Saturday, November 29, 2008

So What Do You Do Mr. PJ?

I dread this question. There is simply no easy way to answer. Thanks to television we have some idea of what cops, criminals, lawyers and doctors do. I suppose that these sorts of careers make for good drama. The lack of prime time television shows about Wireline Logging Engineers is a pretty fair indication of the dramatic potential of my chosen profession. So what the heck is a Wireline Logging Engineer anyway?

A Wireline Logging Engineer (lets call him a logger for short) has nothing to do with forests or trees of any sort. Logging is simply one of the services performed during the life of an oil well and the engineer is the guy responsible for performing the service (this would be me). Before I can tell you what I do, I need to explain a little bit on what logging is all about. Logging is simply the acquisition of geological or petrophysical properties of a well as a function of depth. Now at this point in normal social conversation the listeners eyes will begin to glaze over - try to stay focused....please The end product of logging is, of course, called a Log. Logs are used by oil companies as a permanent record of the original well properties at the time it was drilled. As such its a pretty important document. For example oil companies can use logs as evidence to prove existence of assets when negotiating bank loans. Oil companies can pay a lot of money to acquire logs depending on the type of information that they are after.

The business of getting these logs is my job. And A stressful business it can be. Remember Star Trek - The original series with the sexy yeomen in gogo boots ? Well, To put my job in terms of Star Trek I would need Scotty's fixit sense, Spock's grasp of physics, Uhura's communication skills and the balls of Captain K himself to boldly go where no fool has gone before. Come to think of it, had I been old enough, I could have auditioned for Star Trek and saved Roddenbery a heap of money.

Any work that I do is subject to continuous and intense scrutiny from a lot of different folks of varying intelligence but limited sense of humour. Usually when I go to log a well an oil company witness (read - junior exploration geologist) is assigned to follow me around and make a permanent record of my every action on the rig. The reports that these people create are then used to create reasons why I should not be paid. As a result I have had to become an expert at cya(cover-your-ass) and the delicate art of shifting responsibility.

I am a logger - worship me.


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