On Nested Polynomials

At work we use quartz pressure gauges to measure downhole pressure in a reservoir. The gauges are extremely accurate and employ a clever temperature correction scheme. They are calibrated at a test facility somewhere in the States and sent to us as a kit. The calibrations take the form of nested polynomials, the coefficients of which have to be entered manually into an acquisition system. Apparently computers prefer crunching this form of equation to the regular type. Here is what they look like (more or less).

So just figuring

• 25 Coefficients per internal gauge 
• 3 Internal Gauges
• 4 Coefficients per external gauge
• 29 Coefficients per Internal/External Combination
• 9 Possible configurations means 261 coefficients to enter (manually) into the system.

The possibility of typos is tremendous. Luckily the system allows some test values to be input so as to generate a known output. Its fairly easy to check if you've made a mistake. Still its a lot of typing for the two-fingered. Once all the calibrations are entered then the gauges must be phsically checked (in their various combinations ) just to ensure all the points are entered in the right places. Lots of unscrewing and screwing involved here.

This will take all day...I'm already pooped.

The Prisoner Exchange

Kasiem is a genius.

Imagine being able to pay someone else to do your prison time. Think of the business opportunity. You could even set up an exchanges whereby short term credits in maximum security prisons could be exchanged for longer terms in nicer prisons. Otherwise unemployed people could now find meaningful employment as exchange brokers.The govenment could even generate revenues from licensing aforementioned brokers as well as a service fee levied on each transaction.

Its a win-win as far as I can see.

Alluvial Shite Fans

There is an escarpment outside our office that runs along the coast for several miles in either direction. Along this escarpment there are hundreds of these alluvial (or fluvial-I can never recall) shite fans. These fans are caused by residents on the top of the escarpment simply dumping their trash over the side of the cliff. There it remains until it either gets covered over with sediments - there are whole vehicles buried here - or until it rains and all this refuse floods the lowlands next to the ocean. Somedays it rains so hard that the manhole covers in the lower city get blown off and there is the spectacle of an artesian shite fountain in the middle of the street.

Sorry about the picture quality. My camera has gone AWOL - permanently it seems.

Word Of The Day

from dictionary.com

Obsequious -1.  characterized by or showing servile complaisance or deference; fawning: an obsequious bow.


                              2. servilely compliant or deferential: obsequious servants.

                              3. obedient; dutiful.
 
The photo gives a prime example of obsequious behavior. The man doing the kissing is Nurdin Halid, the head of the Indonesian Soccer Association and the man on the receiving end is Susilo Bambang Yudyono - the current President of Indonesia. Is this sort of thing still common between adults and elites? I thought that such slavish salaaming was just between children and their parents. To be either the kisser or the kissee in this picture would be very uncomfortable for me.
 
photo was lifted from the internet

A Non Christmas Poem

This wll probably be my first and last attempt at rhyming couplets. I really need a change from writing deployment risk management reports. Here goes...

It was the night before Christmas and I'm stuck in a stew
Trying to fill in my performance review
Just a few short lines to fill in a gap
In some global database, managed by SAP



I'm advancing the enterprise I quickly cajoled
Exceeding my metrics and meeting my goals
Conform to requirements with a flick of the wrist
Careers are tick boxes, just fill in the checklist



I'm finding it hard understanding this goo
The sylables are many their meanings are few
Designed to mislead, to confuse and to skew
It looks good on paper who cares if its true?


Ah all that I've written its not what Ive done
It just for a raise at the end of Q1
At the end of the day its not what you do
Its how you report it (subject to review)

Thats probably enough


PJ wishes everyone a Merry Christmas and all the best in 2011. May your performance metrics show continuous improvement, add value to the enterprise, meet or exceed industry benchmarks and comply with stakeholder expectations (both internal and external) thoughout this reporting period.