Sunday, April 12, 2009

Mbaaak? What are you doing to my coffee?

I like my coffee simple.

Hot and strong in the morning, maybe a touch of mocha in the afternoon. None of this half-caf, double cream orange french vanilla mocha latte for me please. So I was a little bit shocked the other day at the Dunkin Donuts in Juanda to find jelly in my ice coffee. Apparently they just added it without asking. Some sort of new promotion I suppose.

What were they thinking?

Imagine if you will an old donut chain with a 70's type interior. You need something new. Despite coffee taking off as a beverage in the last 10 years or so you haven't significantly tapped into the market and your coffee sucks. What to do?

I know. Here's an idea. Just take the jelly out of the donut in put it in the coffee. Yeah Baby!

Just pump a big blob of jelly in the bottom of an ice coffee and you too can enjoy the delicious melange of caramel jelly and coffee at the same time.


People will come for miles for the novelty. What could go wrong? Other than the fact that coffee and jelly are a mutually exclusive pair. Oh and did I mention that there is almost no way to get that jelly up a straw. You need one of those big ass straws and even then that jelly clogs the straw like a grim prophecy of what my arteries will be like in another 20 years or so of high cholesterol consumption. And the taste? Well actually there was no additional taste. Maybe because the jelly is probably just a cheap mixture of pectin and sugar and they forgot to add the artificial flavoring. I can only surmise that the whole purpose of this jelly coffee exercise is for the visceral sensation of swishing cold snot around in you mouth before swallowing. Maybe this something that the marketing people over at Dunkin do? For me its reminds of the time that I had a very bad pneumonia and was forever coughing my lungs out.

Here's a suggestion for free. Just make good coffee using premium beans and consistent practices. How hard can it be?

Tolong Mbak, Kopi aja kepan-kepan ya! (please miss, just coffee next time)

*mbak - An Indonesian honorific for a young woman...thank you carla to correct my poor spelling

*Juanda - The recently renovated airport in surabaya


Carla said...

the problem with the people is that they just don't listen to what you say and want. if something is good for them, it has to be good for everyone else. despite what they say. but at dunkin donut you could exchange that to the coffee you wanted/ordered, right?

by the way, it's mbak instead of mbat.

pj said...

Hi Carla
Thanks for dropping in.

You are absolutely right. I could have complained but we were having all kinds of fun with the jelly jokes.

Thanks for the correction btw... for some reason it always sticks in my my head as mbat...

therry said...


Wow, it seems that you were thoroughly pissed off with the whole 'jelly in my coffee' incident but I totally understand.

I don't know why some people like to ruin things that are already nice and perfect as they are, without any additional shitreous included. As Carrie Bradshaw said, it's like putting ketchup on a premium steak, "Stop it! You're ruining everything!"

pj said...

Some things just shouldn't be mixed. For example:

Peanut butter and eggs
Scotch and coke(well single malts anyway)
Coffee and Jelly

There really should be a definitive list somewhere as well as some form of enforcement. Where are the cops when you need'em?