A Non Christmas Poem

This wll probably be my first and last attempt at rhyming couplets. I really need a change from writing deployment risk management reports. Here goes...

It was the night before Christmas and I'm stuck in a stew
Trying to fill in my performance review
Just a few short lines to fill in a gap
In some global database, managed by SAP



I'm advancing the enterprise I quickly cajoled
Exceeding my metrics and meeting my goals
Conform to requirements with a flick of the wrist
Careers are tick boxes, just fill in the checklist



I'm finding it hard understanding this goo
The sylables are many their meanings are few
Designed to mislead, to confuse and to skew
It looks good on paper who cares if its true?


Ah all that I've written its not what Ive done
It just for a raise at the end of Q1
At the end of the day its not what you do
Its how you report it (subject to review)

Thats probably enough


PJ wishes everyone a Merry Christmas and all the best in 2011. May your performance metrics show continuous improvement, add value to the enterprise, meet or exceed industry benchmarks and comply with stakeholder expectations (both internal and external) thoughout this reporting period.

Every Dog Has His Day

These are about as rare as hen's teeth. Tucked in amongst the slices,thin shots, duffs,windies and 4 putts I somehow managed to sink one from the teebox. I'm starting to think that golf is merely a series of disasters punctuated by just enough glorious moments to entice one to continue playing. Sort of like life in that regard.

Things Missed

Its time to go back to work. I've enjoyed this little trip to Canada even though I nearly froze to death.

Certain things you just can't take with you.
Here are some in no particular order

Good music and bookstores - I've missed shopping for Cd's. Buying music online just isn't the same.
Morning crosswords - nice way to take your coffee
Boats and big brothers - I  enjoyed the unscheduled lesson on sailing without the rudder, but I really don't care to try that again.
Large furry animals - you know who you are.
Old friends. Funny how you can pick up with them where you left off the year before.
Working Bureaucrats (especially the folks that helped with my passport).
Big skies and cruise control  - no better way to see the province.
Hot rum toddies - nothing better after a cold day on the water - or a cold day for that matter - Well, come to think of it, anytime is a good time for these babies.
Alberta Beef - I think I haven eaten an entire cow (bit by bit) over the last three weeks. Cutting my steak with a spoon and washing it down with a nice Italian red - heaven!
Hi Speed Internet - Oh the joy of it!
Family

Did I mention large furry animals?

Jake the oversized puppy

waffle...latest addition to the clan

Addictions

I read The Hobbit in eighth grade. In that time I was travelling in the Kananaskis country and perhaps it was the combination of story and scenery that did me in. I was hooked. Upon finishing The Hobbit I immediately sought out The Lord Of the Rings and spent the next year reading it over and over again, ever trying to squeeze out the last bits of trivia from its appendices. A few colleagues from school shared my addiction and we would happily debate the geography of Midde Earth or how to pronounce Osgilliath, Mithrandir, Orthanc and other names and places from Tolkien's World. But if I thought I was an LOTR geek, than these guys take the cake. Imagine making movie prequels - this is geekism on a whole new level. I actually sat down and watched both these films, the first concerning the heritage of Aragorn, and the second centered on the hunt for Gollum. For actors working on a pretty low budget - the project cost only $40,000 or so - I thought it was a very reasonable effort. Enjoy the films - they are after all still free.

So What Do You Do Mr. PJ?

I dread this question. There is simply no easy way to answer. Thanks to television we have some idea of what cops, criminals, lawyers and doctors do. I suppose that these sorts of careers make for good drama. The lack of prime time television shows about Wireline Logging Engineers is a pretty fair indication of the dramatic potential of my chosen profession. So what the heck is a Wireline Logging Engineer anyway?

A Wireline Logging Engineer (lets call him a logger for short) has nothing to do with forests or trees of any sort. Logging is simply one of the services performed during the life of an oil well and the engineer is the guy responsible for performing the service (this would be me). Before I can tell you what I do, I need to explain a little bit on what logging is all about. Logging is simply the acquisition of geological or petrophysical properties of a well as a function of depth. Now at this point in normal social conversation the listeners eyes will begin to glaze over - try to stay focused....please The end product of logging is, of course, called a Log. Logs are used by oil companies as a permanent record of the original well properties at the time it was drilled. As such its a pretty important document. For example oil companies can use logs as evidence to prove existence of assets when negotiating bank loans. Oil companies can pay a lot of money to acquire logs depending on the type of information that they are after.


The business of getting these logs is my job. And A stressful business it can be. Remember Star Trek - The original series with the sexy yeomen in gogo boots ? Well, To put my job in terms of Star Trek I would need Scotty's fixit sense, Spock's grasp of physics, Uhura's communication skills and the balls of Captain K himself to boldly go where no fool has gone before. Come to think of it, had I been old enough, I could have auditioned for Star Trek and saved Roddenbery a heap of money.

Any work that I do is subject to continuous and intense scrutiny from a lot of different folks of varying intelligence but limited sense of humour. Usually when I go to log a well an oil company witness (read - junior exploration geologist) is assigned to follow me around and make a permanent record of my every action on the rig. The reports that these people create are then used to create reasons why I should not be paid. As a result I have had to become an expert at cya(cover-your-ass) and the delicate art of shifting responsibility.

I am a logger - worship me.

PJ

Inspiration...or lack thereof

I woke up thinking of this poem for some reason. Not sure what I ate last night to bring this on.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Rudyard Kipling 1909



Kipling may have written this nearly 100 years ago yet it remains one of my favorites to this day. Pretty inspirational stuff. And I need inspiration. Day 5 of customs invoices and still not finished. Another fire to put out as all the shipments got mixed up. On second thought maybe I've misplaced my trust in Kipling. This may be more appropriate.







One more week and I'm outta here.

Pj

half hearted beginnings

I haven't decided why I doing this just yet. I suppose I'm just curious to see what direction this goes and what happens along the way. Travel is like that - getting there is half the fun. For some reason I've been living in a suitcase far longer than whats considered healthy or normal. Maybe by writing it down I can make some sense of it someday. Or maybe I can make a home (such as it is) here in these lines.Or it could even be a sort of herd mentality - everyone else has a blog so why can't I? Whats more likely is that I will get bored of this in a few weeks and take up some other, less challenging, pastime.
Time will tell.